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Behind Enemy Lines
'''Behind Enemy Lines '''is the second episode in the fanfiction, Glee: Sebartie. This episode also marks the first appearance of Sebastian Smythe. Plot Santana is still pissed about Artie becoming captain, so she challenges him to a 'rap battle'. Meanwhile Artie meets the new captain of the Warblers, Sebastian Smythe. Cameron seems to have a crush on Dani however it is revealed Artie and Dani are dating. Santana takes this as a wonderful oppurtunity to get revenge on Artie by manipulating Franklin. Songs Episode The episode opens in the choir room, everyone is busy talking and texting while Santana is silent. She then looks at Artie and rolls her eyes "Ugh, I still can't believe that Mr. Schue snubbed my sheer awesomeoness and chose Stubbles McCripple Pants to be the captain. I sing better than Katy Perry. I'm more hotter than Rihanna. I twerk better than Miley Cyrus. And I dance like i'm Janet Jackson. It's so freaking unfair." "Hey Santana!" Franklin said "But, it's okay. Because I got his brother by the neck. I can easily manipulate little Franklin against his loser older brother. Well Santana, remember what Goblin said back in Spiderman. Attack his heart." "Mr. Schue!" Santana said, then raised her hand "Yes Santana?" Mr. Schue asked "I wanna challenge Artie to rap battle!" Santana said Everybody have "oohs" and "aahs" "What?" Artie said "That's right you little bitch in a wheelchair. I challenge you." Santana said "Fine. What does the winner get?" Artie asked "Captain rights." Santana said "Deal." Artie said then wheeled his way upfront "Franklin, this is not good." Rachel said "I know, I hope they perform a Nicki Minaj song." Franklin said "Alright Santana. What song shall we do?" Artie asked "Roman's Revenge by Nicki Minaj featuring Eminem." Santana said then everybody was excited "Fair enough. Hit it!" Artie said, then the dark-evil-twisted beat of Roman's Revenge starts playing Artie was looking pretty confident at Santana, she then rolled her eyes Santana started "I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin So far ahead, these bums is laggin' See me in that new thing, bums is gaggin' I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon Look at my show footage, how these girls be spazzin' So fuck, I look like gettin' back to a has-been?" Artie blocked Santana and rapped "Yeah, I said it, has-been Hang it up, flatscreen (Ha ha) Plasma Hey, Artie, hey Artie, asthma" Santana pushed Artie and rapped'' "I got the pumps, it ain't got medicine I got bars, Xenocin I'm a bad bitch, I'm a cunt And I'll kick that hoe, punt Forced trauma, blunt You play the back, bitch, I'm in the front You need a job, this ain't cuttin' it Santi Minaj is who you ain't fuckin' with You li'l brag a lot, I beat you with a pad-a-lock I am a movie, camera block You outta work, I know it's tough But enough is enough"'' Everyone sang'' "Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon"'' Artie then went upfront and rapped "I ain't into S&M, but my whip's off the chain A little drop of candy paint drips off the frame Twisted-ass mind, got a pretzel for a brain An eraser for a head, fuckin' pencil for a frame You don't like it then peel off, bitch Every last woman on Earth I'll kill off, and I still wouldn't fuck you, slut So wipe the smile on your grill off, I swear to God I'll piss a Happy Meal off Get the wheels turnin', spin, and wheel off Snap the axel in half, bust the tie-rod" Santana then rapped "Quit hollerin' "Why, God? " He ain't got shit to do with it Bygones'll never be bygones, so won't be finished swallowin' my wad I ain't finished blowin' it, nice bra Hope it'll fit a tough titty, bitch Life's hard, I swear to God, life is a dumb blonde white broad With fake tits and a bad dye job Who just spit in my fuckin' face and called me a fuckin' tightwad" Artie rapped "So finally I broke down and bought her an iPod And caught her stealin' my music, so I tied her arms and legs to the bed Set up the camera, pissed twice on her Look, two pees and a tripod! The moral to the story is, life's treatin' you like dry socket Kick it back in it's face, my God It's Artie and Santi Minaj, you might find the sight quite odd But don't ask why, bitch (Artie: Ask why not) The wo-world is my punchin' bag and If I'm garbage, you're a bunch of maggots Make that face, go on, scrunch it up at me Show me the target so I can lunge and attack it" Santana rapped "Like a, raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon You fell off, off, they must've bumped your wagon (Artie:I-I-I-I-Is) You must've went off the back, I'm 'bout to go off the deep end I told you to stay in your lane, you just choked in traffic" Artie rapped "Is this the thanks that I get for puttin' you bitches on? Is it my fault that all of you bitches gone? Should've sent a thank-you note, you little ho Now I'm a wrap your coffin with a bow" "Artie, she's just mad 'cause you took the spot" Franklin sang in a soft voice Artie rapped'' "Word, that bitch mad 'cause I took the spot? Well, bitch, if you ain't shittin', then get off the pot Got some niggas out in Brooklyn that'll off your top"'' "Okay, Stop!" Mr. Schue said then the beat also stopped "What the crap, Mr. Schue?" Santana said "I was beating Stumble's ass." "Look. If you guys are gonna disrepect eachother. Stop." Mr. Schue said "Artie is captain. That's that." "This isn't fair." Santana said "If Artie is captain. He'll be singing all the solos." "It's not about the solos Santana!" Mr. Schue said "I chose Artie because he as amazing leadership skills. That I actually don't see in any of you. Except Finn." "Whatever." Santana said then leaves the choir room Dani looks at Artie ________________________________ Dani and Artie are by their lockers "You we're very amazing back there Artie." Dani said "You rap like a monster." "Thanks Dani." Artie said "But if you saw my brother Franklin rap. He's like the male Nicki." "You really love your little brother huh?" Dani asked "Yeah, I don't know what I'd do if something bad happens to him." Artie said "Or if we become enemies." "That's not gonna happen Artie." Dani said, then she placed her hands on Artie Santana and Franklin are seen spying on them "See Franklin?" Santana said "Your brother is traitor." "I just can't believe this." Franklin said "I thought Dani liked me." "News flash." Santana said "That was two years ago. Okay?" "You're right. But I still love her." Franklin said "That break-up was a mistake." Santana then kissed Franklin on the lips "I'm here. I can be your girlfriend." "Okay." Franklin said. "Great." Santana said then grabbed Franklin's hand and started walking to Artie and Dani "Hi guys." Santana said with a smile "Hey Santana." Artie said "Franklin Hi." Dani said with a smile "Hey" Franklin motionlessly said, Artie is shown to be curious "So. Franklin I was wondering you wanna go out tonight?" Dani asked "You and me?" "Nah, sweetie. Because starting today. I'm his lady." Santana said with an evil smile "What!?" Artie shocking said "Yes. It turns out me and Frankie have a lot in common." Santana said